That says it all...I'll be back later this week with some very profound comments which I have been dying to share with all of you and just haven't had the time to sit down and blog.
Till then...be happy!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A New Year...
...and a New Year's Resolution!
Ah yes!...How many of us make those New Year's Resolutions with all the good intentions of sticking to them, only to see them fall by the wayside? Well girlfriend, don't feel like the Lone Ranger. You're not alone! Let me take you on a walk down memory lane and share with you some of Gwen's New Year's Resolutions that are now ancient history; and just how those resolutions were consummated.
1979 - Resolved "never to fall in love again." ~~~ January 13th met my soul mate, and have been together ever since! Resolution failed to resolve!
1984 - Resolved "to stop worrying about everything and be happy." ~~~January 7th my doctor prescribed Prozac. Resolution resolved satisfactorily!
1990 - Resolved "to get in shape." ROUND is a shape! Resolution resolved satisfactorily!
1996 - Resolved "to stop smoking." ~~~ January 2nd switched to LIGHT cigarettes; February 2nd switched to ULTRA LIGHT cigarettes; by March 3rd I was smoking three times as much as I was on Jan 2nd. Resolution failed to resolve!
1999 - Resolved "to stop drinking before 5." ~~~ This one was easy! Hell, girlfriend, I don't even get out of bed till at least 7. Resolution resolved satisfactorily!
2003 - Resolved "to stop procrastinating." ~~~ January 1st decided to put this resolution off for a year or two. Resolution failed to resolve!
2007 - Resolved "to get organized." ~~~ January 28th purchased a beautifully crafted cherry wood jewelry armoire for the baubles and beads; February 7th purchased a stunning Quorum Lighting San Marino Traditional Pot Rock for the kitchen to organize all those pots and pans; February 18th purchased a Sonoma Traditional Burl Pecan Secretary Desk with Glass Door Fronts and a Locking File Drawer for all that office stuff....Now if I could just get organized! Resolution failed to resolve!
So you see, kids, it isn't necessarily easy to keep those resolutions. But if you've made one, try and stick with it! Good Luck and Happy New Year!
Ah yes!...How many of us make those New Year's Resolutions with all the good intentions of sticking to them, only to see them fall by the wayside? Well girlfriend, don't feel like the Lone Ranger. You're not alone! Let me take you on a walk down memory lane and share with you some of Gwen's New Year's Resolutions that are now ancient history; and just how those resolutions were consummated.
1979 - Resolved "never to fall in love again." ~~~ January 13th met my soul mate, and have been together ever since! Resolution failed to resolve!
1984 - Resolved "to stop worrying about everything and be happy." ~~~January 7th my doctor prescribed Prozac. Resolution resolved satisfactorily!
1990 - Resolved "to get in shape." ROUND is a shape! Resolution resolved satisfactorily!
1996 - Resolved "to stop smoking." ~~~ January 2nd switched to LIGHT cigarettes; February 2nd switched to ULTRA LIGHT cigarettes; by March 3rd I was smoking three times as much as I was on Jan 2nd. Resolution failed to resolve!
1999 - Resolved "to stop drinking before 5." ~~~ This one was easy! Hell, girlfriend, I don't even get out of bed till at least 7. Resolution resolved satisfactorily!
2003 - Resolved "to stop procrastinating." ~~~ January 1st decided to put this resolution off for a year or two. Resolution failed to resolve!
2007 - Resolved "to get organized." ~~~ January 28th purchased a beautifully crafted cherry wood jewelry armoire for the baubles and beads; February 7th purchased a stunning Quorum Lighting San Marino Traditional Pot Rock for the kitchen to organize all those pots and pans; February 18th purchased a Sonoma Traditional Burl Pecan Secretary Desk with Glass Door Fronts and a Locking File Drawer for all that office stuff....Now if I could just get organized! Resolution failed to resolve!
So you see, kids, it isn't necessarily easy to keep those resolutions. But if you've made one, try and stick with it! Good Luck and Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Ever Wonder Why???
Ever wonder why a gay male's wrist falls limp and forms a 90 degree angle with a verticle forearm, often times as an involuntary movement occuring while in conversation?
Scratch your heads girls. Its really not that hard to figure out!
Think about it. Give up?
Monday, December 15, 2008
Ten Days 'Til Christmas
The time is just about here.. .
With only ten days until Christmas, its time we start thinking about making the eggnog mentioned in last Thursday's blog. (This coming weekend would be the ideal time to whip up this holiday treat to ensure maximum freshness throughout the holidays.)
I'm gonna share my Daddy's eggnog recipe with you. It is the very best!
Ingredients
With only ten days until Christmas, its time we start thinking about making the eggnog mentioned in last Thursday's blog. (This coming weekend would be the ideal time to whip up this holiday treat to ensure maximum freshness throughout the holidays.)
I'm gonna share my Daddy's eggnog recipe with you. It is the very best!
Daddy's Eggnog
Ingredients
6 Eggs
1/2 Pint Whiskey
1/4 Pint Rum
1 Pint Heavy Cream
1 Pint Half & Half
1/2 Tsp Vanilla
3/4 Cup Sugar
Separate eggs
Beat yokes (that's the yellow part) and add 1/2 cup sugar while beating
Slowly add the Half & Half to the mixture
Lightly whip the heavy cream separately and then gradually add to the mixture
Stir constantly while adding the Vanilla, whiskey and rum
Whip egg whites separately and add 1/4 cup sugar to the whipped whites
Slowly add whipped egg whites into mixture, stirring constantly
Taste ~ Add sugar to taste, if necessary. Taste Again ~ Add rum to taste, if necessary.
Cool and store in refrigerator. Makes approximately 2 quarts. Serve with grated nutmeg on top.
Go for it girl! You'll be glad you did! This is what eggnog is supposed to taste like!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Holiday Time Tips
This past week a dear girlfriend of mine passed on the following Holiday Tips to me. I thought it only appropriate to share them with all of you. So, with "Thanks" to Marie, here are some valuable Christmas Holiday tips...
Enjoy the spirit of the festivities.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies or pralines in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies or pralines in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Have a great Christmas season!!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
A True Lady's Christmas List...
With the economy in a rather depressed state these day I have pared down my Annual Lady's Christmas List this year to "what every lady of quality must have," and have forgone the extra niceties that we all want, but don't really need. Offered for your consideration...
A True Lady's Christmas List
- A quality moisturizer
- A 5 star manicure
- Botox maintenance
- Brazilian Bikini Wax
- A pretentious vocabulary
- Affected mannerisms
- A 9" rhinestone encrusted cigarette holder (this one borders on want versus need)
- Lumineers
- Set of 4 Luigi Bormioli All-Purpose Wine Glasses
- A custom colored iPhone (A company called Colorware offers to paint your iPhone in the color of your choice. Either send in your iPhone and wait for it to come back 8-10 business days later, or order your iPhone directly from them, in your favorite color.)
- And last, but certainly not least, and definitely a "must have," Wolford Small Weave Ultra Sheer Fishnet Hose
Good luck Girlfriends, and Merry Christmas!!!
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